I could go on…

That’s my wife’s name.  Marvina.  I think her dad, Marvin, wanted a boy but in a day when knowing the gender of an unborn child was more of a coin flip than it was science, his toss came up short.  Short that is if everything was bet on a boy.

Marvina is very definitely not a boy.  I can without hesitation testify to that.  She was absolutely stunning when I met her.  I could just about wrap my hands around her waist.  Curley red hair, freckles and green eyes that are as readable as a mood ring, changing hue from deep shades present during passion or deep emotional feelings to a pale almost yellow green, a color that I’ve learned to be wary of since it’s usually accompanied by a very unhappy and angry woman.  Did I mention the freckles?  A constellation of them covering every inch of her body except those places where modesty prevailed and the sun was kept at bay.

She is 46 now.  Truth be told she’ll be 47 later this month but I’ve learned there are some things best not rushed when it comes to Marvina.  Still, a perfect representation of the stubborn red head stereotype, she is defiant in the face of aging.  She is gracefully growing more beautiful with each passing year.  She has given up the curly locks I adored when we first met and has resorted to adding color to hide the occasional gray hair she abhors.  While I can’t wrap my hands around her waist anymore thanks to my culinary skills, we generally eat quite well thank you very much, I still find myself letting out a quiet whimper whenever she bends over in front of me.

Yes she is a woman but even more so she’s a complete person.  She isn’t just the product of looks.  She could live on those alone if that were her choice but that would make her shallow which she is not.  She has a heart so big that I fear it tries to embrace the entire world.  All of it, good and bad alike.  Sometimes I fear that she will crumble under the weight of that heart.  Sometimes I think I should somehow shelter her from the world, or at least the bad parts.  That wouldn’t work though because that wouldn’t be her.  She is her own entity and as such will take on the world in her own way.

Oh and she is intelligent.  To be honest, her intelligence was the first thing that attracted me to her.  Some might scoff at that.  You know, guy, pretty girl, brains?  Right…  But it’s true.  We, I, was fortunate to meet her on the internet via a friend.  Marvina and I emailed and chatted and eventually started talking over the phone long before we physically met.  For that first period of time I had no idea what she looked like.  None.  I just knew that here was a gifted soul with a mind both nimble and adroit that would both challenge and nurture my own.

She has the ability to teach me things I’ve never ventured into before for fear of failing.  When talking to her about complex concepts she keeps pace and more often than not guides me to an enhanced understanding of what I thought I already understood.  Socially and politically we are compatible.  Not a perfect match for that would be boring.  But enough so that we challenge each other almost daily on our perception of the world around us.  She learns and assimilates new things with such ease that it takes my breath away.  She is quite possibly the most intelligent person I know.

Marvina has this absolutely endearing thing she does when she’s truly focused on something.  She sticks the tip of her tongue out between closed lips.  It doesn’t matter what she’s working on or studying, it’s just a thing she does that betrays the amount of attention she is giving it.

I suppose it is reasonable to expect that her emotions will change as she ages.  As of late I feel as though I have to be careful with not just what I say but how I say it.  This is very difficult for me.  According to the Myers-Briggs personality typing I am an ENFP.  Those with some exposure to Myers-Briggs understand what that means.  For those who don’t, well, being an ENFP means I am a flake.  I tend to make unexpected jumps in thought and expression.  I want to get to the ending of a novel without burning all the time and energy to actually read it.

Up until recently that wasn’t a problem for us.  Marvina, while perhaps a bit whiplashed, kept pace with my thought patterns.  She is that good.  But with age and health issues of her own she may not have the energy to keep pace with the quantum jumps in my thought processes.  This isn’t a bad thing but it does give me something I need to work harder at.

I need to slow down and ease into an issue rather than leap right to the crux of the matter.  I need to shape my thoughts and craft my words carefully to give her time and opportunity to follow.   She told me today that she can’t do or say anything right.  That isn’t true.  It may seem that way from her perspective, but in a world of give and take, of personal and joint growth and challenges there really isn’t a right and wrong.  There just is.

I love this woman.  I am grateful she came into my life.  I wish I had found her sooner so that I could have enjoyed more of her.  I enjoyed watching her as I pushed her over the edge during intimacy.  I enjoy watching her as she learns something new or reaches a moment of epiphany.  I enjoy the devotion she heaps on our son and grand children.  I enjoy the sound of her breathing as I lay awake in the middle of the night next to her.

Marvina is quite a woman.  I cannot imagine how sad my life would have been had she not arrived in it.

I could go on…